


Twisted

by arandomshipper (Giveadogabone)



Series: Always Was, Can Never Be [4]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, F/F, Introspection, Possibly Unrequited Love, Unsurprising surprise twist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giveadogabone/pseuds/arandomshipper
Summary: Even Chizuru herself will admit that she's twisted.





	Twisted

A freak. That's what most people see her as. But they don't know. No one knows exactly how twisted she really is. The her that everyone thinks they know is just a facade. Her true self is more twisted than they could possibly guess.

A lesbian. That's enough to make her twisted in the eyes of some people. But the world is not as it was a hundred, or even fifty, years ago. There will always be those who make reasons to hate, but acceptance could certainly be found for her lesbian self, if she wanted it. It is no longer considered twisted by most people, and not by herself. One would need to look deeper to find the source of her distortion.

A pervert. To endure beatings, being kicked, punched, thrown, just for the chance to touch her love for a brief moment. Every single day, to the point that most people probably thought she was a masochist. She was not. This is why most people thought of her as twisted. But, though it was closer to the mark, this was not her reason either. After all, Orihime was a total package. Beautiful, sexy, cute, whatever description of physical attraction you want to use, it applied to her. Nice, kind, a big heart, however you want to describe a perfect personality, it applied to her. To call her girlfriend, or even wife, material, would be nothing more than a gross understatement. Though Chizuru was the only one who dared molest her so openly, it goes without saying that many more people would've liked to, if only they had the courage. Indeed, to endure all that pain in the name of love, some would call her a hero. So this is not why Chizuru considered herself twisted. The true reason was deeper than that.

Deep down inside, she knew she was unlovable. She'd been taught since a very young age that it was so. So she stopped trying. In fact, she took it further than that, doing her best to be hated the most by the one she loved the most. She was stuck in childhood, subconsciously certain that negative attention was infinitely better than being ignored by those she loves. Like a five-year-old, throwing a fit to get a neglectful parent's attention, even knowing that the attention will only result in a beating. The difference was, she knew it. Unlike that five-year-old, she knew exactly what she was doing, and exactly how twisted it was. It was a subconscious action, but with full support from her conscious mind.

So every day she threw herself at Orihime, enduring being kicked, punched, thrown, all for the sake of being able to briefly touch and be touched by the one she loved the most...the one beating her to a bloody pulp.


End file.
